


i'm dying in the cupboard underneath the stairs

by Neverander



Series: Vampire Smile [5]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5120579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverander/pseuds/Neverander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spirit trapped outside body, somebody help me fix this au. Lawstein for Halloween.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm dying in the cupboard underneath the stairs

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit." Danny frantically pushes at her body lying supine on the floor trying to get her spirit back inside. "I'm not dead! Let me in!" She keeps sinking into her own chest through to the floor. At least her body is still breathing, which, how? She looks around the old mansion she had been wandering through. She must have touched something, there is no other explanation, except maybe she's dying slowly? No. Danny stands or floats really. She looks at her feet, which seem to be gliding along the floor as if by memory rather than necessity. 

"Hello?" Her yell echoes through the house. She had been trying to move quietly before so as not to disturb anything but there doesn't seem to be much point to that now. "Can anyone hear me?" 

She retraces her steps looking more carefully at all the dust-covered relics she passed previously. Nothing looks special or out of place. It's not as though she had been pawing at anything but if she brushed past it maybe that could explain. 

"What are you doing in my house?"

Danny startles violently and would probably have knocked into the bust she had been examining had she been herself but as it was she simply passed harmless through it. Which was startling in itself. 

"Oh great, you died in my house."

"I'm not dead!"

The other girl quirks an eyebrow at her, her dark eyes glinting in the dim light of the hall. 

"Really, my body is fine, I swear. I just, can't seem to get back into it."

"Uh huh. Where is it?"

"Down the hall first door-" the other girl is already walking away, her brown hair swirling around her shoulders. "Okay then. You're taking this well."

"Have you seen where I live?" She doesn't even look at Danny. 

"Yeah but-"

"Christ you are alive." She kneels by Danny's body and Danny is suddenly really unnerved by the vulnerable position she is in. It was fine when she was trapped on her own but now she is trapped like this and someone else has access to her body. Shit. "Why on earth were you in here?"

"Would you believe I walked past this house my whole life and never saw anyone live here so when I saw a light on in one of the windows tonight I wanted to investigate?"

"You wanted to investigate the abandoned house on Halloween? Really?"

"That's why I was worried actually. It's Halloween and I thought some kids might have broken in. The door was open."

The girl stands at that and faces Danny fully. "The door was open?"

"Um, yeah. I walked up the steps and the door was ajar so I definitely thought someone else got in. I was just walking trying to figure out where they might be and then I turn a corner and I feel a tug, you know, like someone caught the back of my jacket? I spun to pull myself out of their grip, hopefully get them out of the house, and I'm looking at myself lying on the ground. I swear I have no idea what happened, but you haven't panicked once since you saw me so I'm guessing this ghost situation is not surprising you."

"Not as much as it would surprise someone else. Though the circumstances are unusual." 

"Riiiight, but, you can put me back? Because I swear I had nothing but good intentions coming in here and if you haven't seen anyone else then I will happily leave your house." 

"No one comes in here."

"I know that's why I thought the light was weird."

"No, you don't understand. No one can get in here. No one can come in and no one can leave."

"But I did."

"I know."

"And you're here."

She glares, "I know."

"So this doesn't make sense."

"I'm stuck here. Been stuck for a while now. No one enters, I can't leave, it’s a thing. The house is cursed, please keep up."

"This is insane."

"You're a ghost!"

"Like I said, this is insane!" Danny watches her chest rise and fall with a slow, steady, rhythm. "So that's it. I'm stuck a ghost until my body actually dies?" 

The other girl turns back to Danny's body as well. "I don't know." 

Danny finally gets a good look at what amounts to a cavernous library of sorts. The open plans leave walls that span three floors filled to the brim with books. Two rolling ladders circle the walls and a staircase on the far side of the room leads to the upper floors. "There's so much light in here that you can't see from the outside."

"Cursed."

"I got that but then why did I see that one light."

Carmilla eyes her carefully, "honestly? I think you got lured in."

"And that's never happened before? Seems unlikely. Were you lured in?"

She scoffs, "no, my mother left me here."

Danny almost asks for that story but her leg spasms so hard it hits a side table and knocks an old-fashioned spin dial phone to the floor. 

They both stare at the phone and her body. 

"That can't be good."

Danny glares. She wants to yell with emphasis so, "what is your name?"

"um, Carmilla?" 

" _Carmilla_ , are you fucking kidding me right now my body just moved without me in it I can't fucking believe you!"

"Okay Red, calm down."

"My name is Danny and my body is dying so I'm not going to calm down!"

"We don't know that your body is dying." Danny opens her mouth to yell some more, "okay, okay, let's at least not panic. You've been not panicking quite well so far." 

Danny takes a breath, which is strange and odd and something she doesn't need and it almost makes her panic again. "So, Carmilla, you think I was lured but this has never happened before."

"Right. It’s just a theory but if you saw a light then I'm guessing the house wanted you to."

"And this hasn't happened on any other Halloween?" Danny asks absently while examining some of the books. A multitude of thick tomes ranging from the expected occult to the innocuous History of Denmark line the shelves. 

Carmilla rolls her eyes, "how many times Red? No, this hasn't happened before. You are the first person to enter this house since my mother cursed it and you are definitely the first ghost in this house. Congrats."

"Thanks."

"Whatever, next time you want to do an unnecessary public service, don't. Do you play the hero often?"

"I don't play anything, I help people if they need it."

"Gonna get yourself killed doing that Red."

"Clearly." She continues floating around the room up to the second floor without really seeming to notice she is no longer on the ground. Carmilla watches her with an amused smile spreading across her face. "How long have you been here? How many of these have you read?"

"I've read pretty much all of them, which should tell you how long I've been here."

"Damn." Danny looks over her shoulder at Carmilla and sees that she is up to the third floor with nothing beneath her feet. "Holy shit." she scrambles for the shelf and of course only sinks into it. "I'm good, I'm cool, I'm floating but it's fine because I'm a ghost which is…so fine."

Carmilla actually laughs. It echoes around the room and Danny slowly sinks down the wall until her feet are barely above the floor again. She stands in front of a grinning Carmilla and is sure she would blush of she wasn't…this.

"That was the funniest thing I've seen in decades. You really like books huh?"

"I'm a Lit major, so yeah. Got a little carr- lost there for a second."

"You were going to say 'carried away'-" Carmilla is barely containing her laughter.

"No, quiet, I was not." 

"God you pun too."

"No sh, I do no such thing."

"How did such a dorky nerd end up a ghost in my cursed house?"

"I'm sure I have no idea."

"Well, worse things have happened."

Danny almost protests but, "yeah."

They both ignore the quiet admission. 

"So none of these books have any info that can put me back in my body?"

"Honestly? With those books I was mostly looking for a way out of the house so I couldn't say for sure."

"Then can we, I mean, would you help me? I can't really read through them all on my own."

Carmilla rolls her eyes at Danny’s downtrodden, transparent, puppy eyes. "Fine. It’s not like I have any other plans for the next century." She begins to wander the library grabbing books seemingly at random from the shelves.

"How old are you?"

Carmilla just smirks at her over her shoulder.  
\--  
They're huddled together in front of the large stone fireplace with an inextinguishable fire surrounded by books. Every so often Danny interrupts Carmilla so that she can turn the page in the book Danny is reading. It makes Danny want to scream and she keeps trying to touch things on her own to no avail. Carmilla, for her part, is quietly resigned to it and grudgingly pleased to finally have another person around after decades on her own. They read for hours, throwing out various theories before it occurs to Carmilla, "how long until someone comes looking for you? You said you walk by so you must live in the neighborhood?"

"Oh," Danny looks back at the book she had been reading before Carmilla spoke. "No, not really, there's a shelter up the street I stay at. So you don't have to worry, no one else is going to wander into your house looking for me." Danny's reassuring smile is well practiced, it almost looks real but Carmilla can see the cracks in it. 

"Well, I doubt anyone else could get in anyway." Carmilla knows better than to pry and so she breezes past that reveal with her usual dryness. "I wonder if the house knew that."

"You think it chose me because I'm an orphan?" Danny actually looks like she's considering it. "How would it know that?"

"Honestly, how does it do anything?"

"So you've never found the original curse? The one your mother used?"

Carmilla rolls her eyes, "if I had I’m sure I would have freed myself by- huh."

"What?" Danny perks up to peer over Carmilla's shoulder at her book. 

"No, no nothing in this, I just thought- I'm an idiot."

"Well if you're actually admitting such a thing it must be serious."

"Shut up." Carmilla stands and Danny trails after her. They head past Danny’s body which has only spasmed twice more while they sat by the fire. Danny hopes that’s a good sign that she isn’t dying too quickly.

They venture back into the hall and up to the second floor, walking until they reach an ornate door. Carmilla stops and after a few moments without any indication that Carmilla is going to explain why they are here Danny decides to break the silence, “Okay, so, why are you an idiot?” 

“This is my mother’s room.”

Again she lapses into silence and while Danny can understand that there must be a lot of feelings there given the cursing she still doesn’t understand what is going on. “Why are we here? Or rather why are we not going inside?”

“I can’t go in.” She looks back at Danny. “I haven’t been able to break into this room no matter what I’ve done, and I’ve done a lot to this door. But you, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner, you can just pass through the door.”

Danny stares at her with wide eyes. It seems dangerous to walk into a magically sealed room but she’s already dying, so, why not? She nods and moves past Carmilla.

“Hey, just, be careful.”

Danny smirks as she walks backwards through the door, “It’s a little late for that don’t you think?” And then she’s gone.  
\--  
God it fucking hurts. She feels like every part of her is breaking up into millions of pieces and being lit on fire. She isn’t even fully aware of when or how she ends up on the other side of the door only that when her awareness returns and the burning recedes she finds herself floating inches above the floor, her back arched and her hair fanned out around her. 

“Holy shit.” She pulls herself up and curls into a ball just for a second, trying to feel herself together and whole again. She breathes slowly and carefully even though she doesn’t have to and then she stands and takes in her surroundings. 

The room is large and everything is just as ornately decorated as the door itself. It looks like it hasn’t been touched for centuries but not a single surface has a speck of dust on it. Everything is meticulously organized. Danny moves carefully about the room trying to determine what might be of importance and only then is it that she realizes the flaw of this plan and that is that she can’t touch anything. Even if she found something of use how would she get it back to Carmilla? She looks back at the door and shivers. She does not want to go through that door again. Ever. 

"Well aren't you far from home."

Danny spins around and finds herself facing the vanity mirror. An imposing woman with shining black hair pulled into a severe bun and a tailored suit is grinning at her viciously from behind the glass. 

"I never thought little Carmilla would actually get this far. I'm impressed she managed to kill someone let alone get them into the house. My baby all grown up."

"I- wha- you're Carmilla's mother?"

The grin that stretches across her face is nothing but predatory, showing off  
sharp, sparkling, teeth. "Of course I am dear. Can't you see the resemblance?" 

Danny is at a loss for words. This is the woman who enacted the curse she isn't going to help, probably. "How did you- I mean why are you here?”

“Oh this, well, Carmilla found me when I was casting the curse and things went a little…pear-shaped. She was supposed to be in the mirror, best I could do was keep her from being able to leave the house. It has been a _treat_ watching her over the years though. Every few decades or so she goes a bit mad trying to get out, there’s always so much blood.”

Danny feels sick. She wasn’t aware that ghosts could feel physically ill given the lack of a body but she wants to vomit. She never knew mothers could be like this. Carmilla would have been better off an orphan like her. “You’re awful.” Which wasn’t nearly strong enough but Danny didn’t have anything else.

“Well, yes, but that comes with the territory. I’m a bit of a demon you know, so is Carmilla or didn’t she tell you?”

Danny shakes her head her eyes involuntarily widen, Carmilla has been trapped for decades or centuries so why is she even surprised, really? 

“Poor dear. Well why don’t I lend a hand? You’re looking for the book I used to cast the curse aren’t you? It happens to be conveniently in the drawer of my bedside table, for those restless nights when you just need some light blood sacrifice to put you to sleep.” She grins.

Danny knows she is being fucked with but the woman is terrifying and Danny would happily brave the door to get away. She heads for the drawer instead and realizes, again, that she can’t touch anything. “Fuck.”

“Oh dear, still haven’t adjusted to being a ghost I see. If you want to touch something you really have to want it. Put your rage into it, dear.”

“That shouldn’t be hard. The fact that you’re alive is really starting to piss me off.”

She laughs and it is a shrill, grating, sound. “Yes, good, use that.”  
Danny rips open the bedside drawer as violently as possible but it slides open slowly as though she is barely touching it. The slower it moves the more frustrated she becomes and the easier it is to move. “Yes!”

“Well done, now pick up the book.”

Danny reaches for it but doesn’t touch it. This woman, this clearly demonic woman, is helping her get the book. That can’t be good. She wants it too badly. “Why are you helping me?”

The Cheshire smile has never left her face but it seems to grow at the question. “Why I’m almost positive you two will fuck up trying to free my dear Carmilla and free me instead, or at least free us both which I can remedy with ease. Living in a mirror was fun for a few decades, I do so love a good show, but it’s been long enough.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why would I help free you?”

“Well we both know for some reason you’re going to try helping Carmilla despite the fact I just told you this. I mean you are here, in this room after all. You seem the reckless heroic sort. Plus I saw you downstairs, I’m quite sure you’ll take the risk in the end.”

Danny glares at the woman and reaches for the book, letting the fury run through her at the fact that she was right. Danny was wiling to risk it. Fuck. She grabs the book and it feels like she is more grounded. The book starts to feel heavier, she moves swiftly for the door and hopes she can get the hell out of the room with the book. _Phase, phase, phase, come on._

“See you on the other side, dear.”

Danny loses consciousness again as she runs through the door.  
\--  
She finds herself curled around the tome lying on the hallway runner; Carmilla is nowhere in sight. Danny worries that if she drops the book she won’t be able to pick it up again so she struggles to her feet still clutching the heavy book. She walks hurriedly down the hall, retracing her steps until she reaches the library again. Carmilla is performing CPR and yelling at her body.

“You can’t fucking do this-“

“Carmilla!” The book hits the floor as she drops down beside Carmilla. “What happened?”

“Danny! I don’t know! You made this really terrible choking sound and hit the table over and over, I heard it from the hall, I came to check on you and you weren’t breathing and I’ve just been doing this and I don’t know, I don’t know!”

Watching Carmilla breathe air into her lungs is a surreal experience. She reaches out and finds that she can touch her body, where before she went right through it. 

“Fuck. Fuck!”

“What happened in the room?”

“Your mother was there and I grabbed the book.”

“What?” Carmilla manages not to stop CPR despite the shock. “She’s here?”

“Been trapped with you the whole time, apparently.” Danny is trying to focus on that rather than the fact that she is pretty sure she is actually dead. She keeps trying to phase back into her body. If solid is emotion, phasing is lack of emotion, right? She tries to keep calm. Her hand phases through her chest and her body takes a ragged, shuddering breath. “Holy shit.” She tries to reenter her body but still can’t stay. 

“Oh my god.” Carmilla drops back to the carpet with her arms spread at her sides. “That felt like an eternity.”

Danny leans over her. “Sorry.”

Carmilla looks at her like she’s crazy. “You’re sorry? You almost died. I’m sorry. We have to get you out of here.” She moves to sit up but slumps back down. “In a second, my arms need a second.” 

“Thank you, you know, for that.” She looks back to her body, her chest rising and falling at a much slower rate than before. When she looks back to Carmilla she finds soft dark eyes watching her from the floor.

“Of course.”

Danny shifts her gaze nervously and finds the book on the floor where she dropped it. “At least I got the book.”

“Yeah, you were solid. How did you manage that?”

“Anger. Your mother helped.” She recounted the events upstairs, especially the part about her mother watching her and wanting to be free. 

“I wouldn’t have been so miserable if I’d known she managed to trap herself as well. Decades of gloating wasted.” She grins but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Her smile drops. “I think you being solid is what almost killed your body, if she’s spying on me then she knows you aren’t really dead. She probably got a kick out of this. Even in a mirror she’s still such a bitch.”

Danny nods. She doesn’t doubt that at all. “Going through the door probably also didn’t help matters.”

Carmilla winces in sympathy. “I had no idea it would be like that.” 

“Neither did I. Now lets get the hell out of here.”

Carmilla begins flipping through the book with haste. 

It doesn’t take long for them to determine that there is no simple spell to escape the house and no easy explanation for how to put a ghost back into a living body.

“Why do I get the suspicious feeling that every single one of these will free everything in the house?”

“Because my mother is a lot of things but stupid isn’t one of them.”

“How is there no damn explanation for how I even got pulled out of my body in the first place? That seems like something that would be in here.”

“I have no idea.” Carmilla is frustrated and desperate; it feels like they’re running out of time. 

“Let’s-“ Danny hesitates. Carmilla’s mother was right, “let’s just try his one,” she is the reckless heroic sort. “It looks like it comes with the least amount of side effects.” 

“No. We should get you in your body first.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Danny tries to say it casually, like she isn’t terrified to die. 

“I’m not fucking leaving you here.” Carmilla stands up, glaring, looking like she wants to shake Danny a little and would if she weren’t a ghost. “We fix you first or we don’t do this at all.”

“What if I die and my ghost leaves? I can’t help you then. You’ll be trapped and I’ll still be dead and nothing will have come from this.”

“That’s-“ Carmilla shakes her head, “that’s-“

“A very real possibility. Look at me Carmilla, I’m not going to last much longer.” 

Her body is struggling for air, taking in slow, gasping, breaths. Carmilla watches her; her face conflicted.

“Let’s just do this, please, Carmilla.” 

“Fine.”  
\--  
They gather up the necessary ingredients and Danny decides that they need a backup plan should Carmilla’s mother get free since this seems to be inevitable. They decide to perform the spell outside the bedroom door. 

“This will probably free her.”

“I know.”

“I might not be able to help with her.”

“I know.”

“Are you ready?”

“No, but we’re doing this anyway.” Carmilla begins mixing her mother’s centuries old ingredients into a rather ordinary looking bowl they scrounged up from the kitchen. Carmilla hesitates tipping in the small vial of Danny’s blood. “I don’t like this.”

“Well, you aren’t human so it can’t be your blood. We’ve come this far.”

“Danny-“ Carmilla meets her eyes. They’re watery and already full of regret. “This isn’t right.”

“I’m pretty sure I was never getting out of this house anyway but nowhere in that book does it say anything about the blood hurting the person it comes from. So let’s do this and deal with your mother and leave.” Danny watches her, resolutely. 

Carmilla pours in the vial and finishes reading off the spell. The whole house shudders and every door in the hallway slams open. Carmilla’s mother stands cackling in front of the mirror. She runs her hands over her face and doesn’t bother turning to face them until they move hesitantly into the room. 

“Thank you, dear.” She looks directly at Danny. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Carmilla moves in front of her. “You aren’t getting out of here.”

She waves her hand casually in their direction and Carmilla flies backwards into Danny. The two topple out of the room and land in a heap halfway down the hall.

“Okay, we should have anticipated that.” Danny picks herself up and reaches down to help Carmilla stand.

Carmilla stares wide-eyed at their joined hands and then at Danny. “Fuck. You’re solid again.”

Danny drops Carmilla’s hand, “Maybe I’m just angry.” _Maybe she’s just dead._ “It doesn’t matter. We can’t let your mother leave.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes and spins around. Danny trails after her.

“Ah, back again.”

“Where else would I go?”

“Wasn’t that the whole point of this, sweetheart? For you to finally be able to _go_ somewhere?”

“And leave you to roam about, I don’t think so.”

“Give me a moment to get my bearings and we’ll sort out this whole mess. You’ll be in the mirror where you belong, I’ll be in the world where I belong, and Danny here will be in the afterlife where she belongs.”

“You are going to put Danny back! I know you had something to do with this!” Carmilla snarls and for the first time Danny can see the demon parts of her shine through. 

“Dear, Danny always had one foot out of this mortal coil. I called to her because she was always ready to die and now she has.”

“No.” Carmilla’s eyes are glowing a steady gold and her teeth are long and sharp. “No!”  
Danny moves up behind Carmilla and takes a vial from her back pocket. 

“How did you ever think you could beat me? Everything that happened here tonight was because I willed it and I willed it from a mirror! I know it’s been a while but don’t you remember what I’m capable of?”

“I remember.” Carmilla stalks towards her mother and Danny fades through the floor. “I remember every single thing you ever did to me growing up. I had so much time to think and wonder and I can’t figure out why you even bothered with a child at all.”

“I had big plans when I was younger.” She smiles wistfully. “Do you know the kind of power you can wield when a child is sacrificed? I was hoping to stash you away, as a trump card. Obviously, I should have done it when you were younger.” She reaches for Carmilla but her hand hits a wall. 

“You’re insane, you know that?” The voice is Danny’s.

Carmilla’s mother spins to face her. “Well, look who learned a new trick.”

“Not just one.” She points down. There is a ring around her holding her in place.

“You think this can trap me forever?”

“No mother but we learned more than just unlocking the house from your book.” Carmilla throws her own vial at her mother’s feet. She recites the transmogrification spell they found as a backup plan. Danny recites it with her even though she isn’t sure if a ghost can really help cast a spell. 

“No! I had a plan!” Her body sizzles and warps. The scream she produces is beyond anything Danny has ever heard before and she hopes to never hear it again as the woman’s body melts into the floor. 

“Well we both know how well that’s gone for you in the past mother.” Carmilla stalks forward. Her mother is nothing more than a scampering beetle trying desperately to escape the circle they’ve placed around her. Carmilla crunches down on her with the heel of her boot. She looks at Danny’s face contorted with disgust.

“That was vile.” 

Carmilla’s eyes are still glinting gold. “That was satisfying.” 

Danny rolls her eyes. “I’m happy for you, really.” Danny brushes by her. “I’m just going to go check on my body real quick.”

Carmilla’s eyes flicker back to brown. “Fuck.” She rushes after her. 

Danny is kneeling by her body, her hand on her own chest.

“Danny-“

“I’m dead.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

“I obviously saw this coming, it just- it really sucks to see it.” Danny looks mournfully up at Carmilla. “What the hell do I do now?”

“Come with me.”

“What? How? What if I can’t leave the house?”

“The spell opened the house for everyone, should have opened it for you too. There’s only one way to find out. Come with me.” Carmilla holds out her hand.

Danny takes it and lets Carmilla pull her to her feet and out down the hallway to the front door. The door is wide open and the sun is beginning to rise. Carmilla steps out first; their hands are joined across the threshold. “Are you ready?”

Danny takes a deep breath that she absolutely does not need. “No, but we’re doing this anyway.” 

Carmilla pulls her out towards the sunrise.


End file.
